WHAT GOT ME HERE...AND HERE I'LL STAY

       It was the necessity to feel wanted by someone that got me into that car. It was the curiosity of a child who did not understand the feelings of attraction to another male, that let that stranger take from me my childhood and replace it with a dark side to me that would over the next few decades mold me into the person I have become today.  In those next few decades I would slowly sink into the darkness of addiction both in the chemical sense, and in the need to be wanted would let the sexual addiction take hold with such a velocity that I would not know the intimate act of sensuality or intimacy to this day. I am a foreigner to the act of love with another male whom I would call a partner,lover,friend and husband. I have seen the beginnings of hell, and have climbed up from those bowels to where I am today and can look out among the horizon and see a light that is blinding with the unknown future of myself . I can tell you; if I look back now that the act that robbed me of so much as a child was a foundation of what I have become today.
I have a sense of urgency in what I want today's younger generation to know about the threat of addiction, AIDS, and depression...it is the ignorance of today that people do not want to know of anything that will keep them away from their Twitter account, FaceBook,Smart phone or laptop...the past is just something that is out of sight and mind to them and yet we see a rise in HIV infection among the 18-30 year olds, and the enormous rise of heroin overdoses in this country because of the carelessness of Dr's and their need to medicate this nation, we see mental health issues rise in this country as we hack away at funding as if it where weeds in our home gardens. It's time we see people stand up and raise questions to be asked; and wait before we close our mouths until an answer is given.
We have forgotten what made this country great, and we have risen from a country founded on religious freedom to a nation that now wants to rule by religion. It is a country that now is ruled by hypocrites and liars as we are slowly moving toward a revolution that is just over the horizon and when it happens it may be too late to quell the turmoil...it is this reason why I am making way for my voice to be heard and stop the implosion from within and maybe incite others to stand up for their beliefs and for them to be heard.
I am not ashamed of where I came from, I am grateful that I was able to survive and be able to tell my story to others whom may be at that certain crossroad in life, and maybe just the image of where I came from, may lead them down the right path or may give them the strength to outlast the storm and rise from the struggle a stronger human being and with a soul that is so much brighter than one could of imagined.
I am free of regret and a man of great promise and only the best ahead of me now....